Dazed and Confiscated
by Vongchild
Summary: After a wild night of partying, Jaina and Zekk awake in a detention cell with their hands in binders, their initials tattooed on each other's ankles, and no idea how they got there. May be unsuitable for those with mental ages under twelve.
1. Dazed and Confiscated

**Author's Note**: Zonoma recently posted a story by the same title and summary. That is because they are both for a challenge. This is not a rip off of her story, so enjoy!

**Dazed and Confiscated**

At least, thought Jaina Solo as she woke up, she was fully clothed. It didn't matter how many tauntauns were galloping across her brain as long as she was, rest assured, fully clothed. Because fully clothed meant that even if she had been drunk last night, maybe even really drunk last night, maybe even blackout-inducingly drunk last night, she had not done anything stupid while drunk last night.

Someone next to her groaned a familiar groan and she wondered why this situation was starting to seem so familiar. Oh right, she remembered vaguely. Joiner hive. Jaina raised a hand to rub the dancing stars away from her eyes and –

Oh. Binders. Those were new. She didn't remember getting binders. But, no time to mingle on that. She had to regain the ability to see straight, first and foremost. Top priority, paging Jaina Solo-

"What happened last night?" asked Zekk.

Jaina finished rubbing her eyes and proudly replied, "Still fully clothed."

Zekk murmured something about how that was good because if he'd actually slept with her he'd be mad if he couldn't remember any of it. Jaina chose to not dignify it with a response other than, "That's the alcohol talking."

"Are we in a detention cell?" he asked.

"We're wearing binders," she answered, "So either that or we've been picked up by a human slavery ring."

"Yuuzhan Vong?"

"You've have coral growing out of your skull right now."

Zekk sat back to reflect on that revelation. Jaina blinked a few more times and the room finally came into focus. "Detention cell, I think," she observed, "Coruscant municipal police." Usually she saw these cells from the outside. She had no idea what she and Zekk had done to wind up in one. "We'll just cut our way out."

"That's the alcohol talking," Zekk admonished.

Jaina frowned. "No it's not. Uncle Luke did this all the time when he was younger." She reached for her lightsaber –

-"You're still drunk," interjected Zekk-

-And found it was missing. "Krif, they took mine. Zekk, gimme yours." Not waiting for a reply, she reached clumsily towards him and wound up sprawled across his lap, reaching pitifully into the blank air in front of her. "Gimme gimme gimme."

Zekk helped her back to a sitting position and then checked his belt. He frowned. "They took mine, too."

"Vonglovers," swore Jaina, and the pounding in her head cleared momentarily, replaced by an awareness of a throbbing in her foot. Scowling, she fought her boot off and pulled her leg towards her chest to get a look at it. A jagged black line swerved across her ankle, but her vision danced before she could get a sense of what it was. "Would you read that for me?"

"It appears someone tattooed a Z on your foot," replied Zekk, raising an eyebrow. Suddenly suspicious, he fought his own boots off and stuck his feet in Jaina's face. "If I have JS on my ankle, I'm seriously going to start doubting your 'if you are fully clothed in the morning, nothing happened' theory."

Jaina grabbed one of his feet and twisted it at an odd angle to see the ankle. "You do," she observed. "Why?"

"Clearly," replied Zekk, swinging his feet away, "I put my boots back on after getting that done."

"That doesn't prove anything," sniffled Jaina. She tended to like remembering how her nights were spent, especially if they were in various stages of undress with green-eyed black-haired men. "Besides, most people do that on a sleepcouch, or at least in private, and generally do not get put in a detention cell for it. And generally they remain unclothed afterwards."

"And of course you're the expert," replied Zekk.

"I happen to be," replied Jaina, watching his expression. "Hey, why aren't we saying what it is? Isn't that kind of immature?" She clapped her hands together and stood.

"Jaya, for Force's sake," he groaned, trying to tug her back down. Jaina broke away from his grip and strode towards the bars across the front of the cell. Low security. How classy.

"Sexual intercourse!" she shouted into the hallway, and then, giggling like a small child who had said a very dirty word, retreated back into the cell.

"You are definitely still drunk," said Zekk. His face had turned a curious shade of red. Jaina sat back down.

"Come on, Zekk," she pleaded, "We're mature adults. We can talk about things like sexual intercourse and not giggle-" She was interrupted by a fit of giggles. Regaining her composure, she continued. "I know you're a monk, but nowhere in the laws of the new order are romantic relationships prohibited, and even in the old order, we know more and more, Jedi weren't celibate protectors of the galaxy. Lots of them had little bastard children. Think of that. Little bastard Jedi brats running around. Hey, am I making you uncomfortable?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay. I'll shut up."

"Thank you."

"Hey Zekk, have you ever…?"

"I thought you were going to shut up."

"I'm just asking. Is that a no?"

"Yes," replied Zekk. Jaina let out a long snigger, her shoulders shaking against his side.

"Are you serious?" she asked between laughs. "I mean, I'd always assumed! You an Anja! Way back when – what ever happened to Anja? She was crazy, I mean. I didn't like her much, to be honest, really, but what happened to her? Did she just like, jump off the face of the galaxy or something?"

"Jaina?" interrupted Zekk. She stopped laughing.

"What?"

"Anja died in the war," he informed her quietly.

"Well, that explains a lot," murmured Jaina. Bouncing back, she asked, "Hey, when do you think they'll let us out of here?"

"Like I know?" asked Zekk.

"Yes, like you know," she replied seriously. "What are our charges?"

"We picked you up in the senatorial district at three standard this morning singing the New Republic Battle Hymn at the top of your lungs," said a new voice from over by the bars. Jaina and Zekk both looked over at the elderly human standing outside the cell. He had a card key in his hand. "You can go now, just remember to get your lightsabers from my desk up front," he replied, swiping the key. The bars dissolved into the ground, and their binders snapped off. Jaina set to work putting her boot back on. The security officer strode off.

"Hey, Jaya," said Zekk, "You don't remember any of last night?"

"No," replied Jaina, giving him a sideways glance as she buckled her boot tight around her calf. "Why?"

"No reason," replied Zekk, smiling to himself. "No reason at all."

**Fin**


	2. Truth or Dare

Zekk was faintly aware that there was a blaster up against his head. He wasn't sure why, just that there was, and that the person on the other end of the blaster was one and the same as the person who he had spent a rather drunken night locked in a Coruscant detention cell with a month previously. Though, from the spartan accommodations of his room at the Jedi praxeum, one wouldn't know the difference between that cell and the room they were in now.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked.

"Yes," replied Jaina wryly. "To what?"

"I wouldn't know," answered Zekk. "I'm not the one holding a blaster to my head."

"I wouldn't know, either," she answered, "Seeing that, of the two of us, I'm not the one who remembers what happened a month ago."

"Why?" asked Zekk, trying to remain nonchalant. "Someone accuse you of murder?"

"After this, they might," she snarled, "You tell me what you know and I tell you what I know."

"I know there is a blaster pointed at my head and it is most likely not set to stun," he replied.

Jaina readjusted her aim. The blaster was no longer aimed at his skull – it was now aimed at his crotch. "I might need you alive," she said offhandedly, "But I'm sure you won't miss that much."

Zekk blanched and, as best he could manage with a blaster aimed at him, asked, "Jaina, what do you need?"

"One month ago," she said with a glare. "Start talking or I start shooting."

"Can we be mature adults about this?" he asked.

"I can if you can," replied Jaina. "Talk." The blaster was back against his skull.

"Sexual intercourse," shrugged Zekk sardonically. Even if Jaina didn't remember the night, he was sure she remembered the conversation in the detention cell the morning after. That was when he lied to her, figuring it was best to try to spare them the embarrassment and awkwardness the truth would lead to. It didn't seem like being blown to bits for trying to prevent such embarrassment was worth it right now, though

"Right answer," she said tersely, lowering the blaster. "And do you remember whose idea it was?"

"Yours, if I recall correctly," he said. "You'd had about a gallon of Corellian brandy, though."

"And you said yes why?" she asked. The blaster was back.

"I think I'd had about twice as much," he answered. "And because I'm male. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

The blaster went flying in some random direction and she slapped him instead. "May I remind you that you were my drinking partner because you [idon't[/i take my drunken antics as an excuse to get in my pants?"

"Well," replied Zekk, "We both obviously overestimated how many shots of brandy my self-control can handle. Why does it matter?"

"Why do you think?" She asked. Zekk looked blank – either he knew and was trying to pretend he didn't, or he was actually clueless. If asked, he honestly couldn't have said which. She sighed. "Okay, for a second, pretend we are in a cheesy holodrama. I am your one-night-stand from a month ago who has just pointed a gun at your head and demanded to know the details of a night I don't remember. Please tell me you have seen this plot before."

It was a moment before the meaning registered in Zekk's head, somewhere between 'sexual intercourse' and the 'what are you gonna do about it?' that his mind had just filled in.

"Krif," he said. "Little bastard Jedi brats, huh?"

"With black hair and green eyes," replied Jaina.


End file.
